This past Wednesday was that day again today, scan day. I️ had it planned way in advance this time, but managed to forget about it until I️ saw it on my calendar the day before, which really worked out pretty well. I thought I️ got through even that day decently, but the day of definitely brought on some worry. Which leads me to my results and just sharing my thoughts as I️ learn to live my new life.
The results were all stable. Small nodule in the lung that has remained unchanged for over a year now I️ believe. So all is good. All is great actually, which made my reaction feeling that much more strange to me at the time. Don’t get me wrong, I️ was happy for sure and my first thoughts were exactly that, I️ think. What I️ remember most though is this feeling. I️ can best describe it as a really thick blanket that had been covering me and immediately upon hearing the voice mail (the plan still working 😁) it just washed away. This sense of physically feeling the relief of not needing to jump back in the fight quite yet.
And I️ guess it’s pretty much that simple. As ready as I️ was to fight for every day when this all started, I️ have an even greater love and understanding of my life, and I️ will be ready to do whatever it takes going forward. BUT, and yes that’s a big but, I’d really love to push that step off as long as possible. I’ve reached what my pinnacle will likely be in terms of scan results and now it’s time to do what I️ can to stay on top. So every 12 weeks I️ get that check up, am I️ still on top or is it time to go back to work with treatment? I️ think my relief may be the let down of my internal build up to be ready to go work if needed, and I’m thinking that may just be something for me to get used to and plan for, as I️ am not looking at getting blindsided by this thing again. 😤💪🏼😏
The next scan will be right around the 3 year mark and what an incredible feeling it is to be here. So on this November day, which of course everyone knows is Lung Cancer Awareness Month, my hope today is that each of you will catch the “moments” in your lives. Those moments that are too easily lost in the hustle of our day to day lives. It’s time to create a habit of searching for them daily. A loved one laughing? The love of your dog? A “normal” everyday conversation that you get to have today? The sunrise? The sunset? There are moments to catch all over. Let’s hit pause just for a moment this weekend and enjoy those moments in our own lives.
As always, thank you #TEAMjeff