It’s an odd time for me right now. On one hand I am recovering from surgery and getting stronger it seems each and every day. I’ve been able to put on a solid 20lbs since walking into the emergency room over 3 weeks ago. So, in a number of ways, I feel that much better and stronger than I have in a while, but then on the other side I now realize that I am again up against a stage 4 cancer battle.
And I guess that’s where things become odd for me. I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but going through this a second time is hard to process. I’m ready to fight and believe I can win, so it’s not a lack of optimism. On the other hand, I understand the hill I must climb once again. It’s a daunting thing, with the most dire of results possible, but, in the end, I am just finding myself ready to get down to the business of beating cancer.
I guess that is what it comes down to, I am just ready to focus on the process that I need to take and fighting for everything we can get. To worry about the other things would be way too daunting to take, so instead it is this focus on taking care of me and being focused on getting the things done to start fighting. It’s that focus on process over anything else, because that is all I can impact.
TEAMjeff continues to touch my heart. The TEAM asked if a gofundme page would be helpful for us, and, with the financial piece always being of concern for me, we agreed that it would really help us be prepared for the fight ahead of us. To see the support that has come in, even during this crazy pandemic time, makes me tear up just thinking about it. To hear from the Dors and their thoughts of my being on deck and seeing their support through social media has only strengthened my resolve that much more as well. And all of the support from Rose Bowl Aquatics that means so much.
It’s time to fight. We now know the bully in front of us, but we’ve never been one to step back from a bully. So we fight instead. We start Monday with the first treatment of Opdivo, and we’ll just keep attacking from there based on how things go.
Thank you TEAMjeff, for everything you do. From those that are in a position to help us with gifts, to those offering their prayers, love, and support, you are all keeping me strong and ready for this fight and I could never thank you enough.