Well, I think the saying really goes about years, but in my case the days go slow and weeks really seem to fly by. I figured I was late once again to get a post up.
I’m thinking this blog might sound negative or I guess maybe just that in sharing I feel like I’m complaining or wanting sympathy. When in reality this last week hasn’t been bad, it’s been part of the process I need to take.
Jumping back, I have to say Thanksgiving week was pretty amazing. Trenton was home and brought his girlfriend, Paige, home as well. Yes, for those wondering, we did play it on the safer side, but still opened up our home. Given both are athletes and tested weekly, it was the travel we worried about most. But in the end, what an incredible few days of hanging out, and it made my heart smile to hear them laughing together.
Monday and Tuesday I more or less rested after a big week of 7 days over 5000 steps, a couple up near 10,000 (these are big for me these days). Then came Wednesday.
The day itself isn’t really an issue and this time I also had my sister in town. So treatment day ✅. Thursday isn’t much different, except it’s really annoying to be hooked up to the pump and trying to sleep. So really most of the time since my last post was good things, but then Friday came.
With Friday starts the impact. The cumulative effect of the chemo starting to take an toll on me. The fatigue, mixed with this general body ache (like a fever, without the fever), are incredibly annoying and what makes the days and nights go by so slowly. Then add the general nausea and it’s like torture by annoyance. Not bad enough to really be bad, but bad enough to impact everything.
Talk about a time for internal strength. Now I need to do it for things that are bothering me, but not bad enough to warrant big reactions from me. It’s a special form a water torture sometimes, but they aren’t getting a word of weakness from me. 😏
This is turning into a full week these days as well. Monday and Tuesday still a bit rough for sure, but at least moving in the right direction.
And now it’s Wednesday, which should be the start of my “good week”, but seemly a slightly slow start this week. Maybe having to do with some stress at work, furloughs, decreases in pay, and just a change to what we were able to do for the swimmers. Same as any other obstacle, we took it in stride and made new plans, but the tightness in my neck and back over the past few days tells me while I’m not dwelling my thoughts on the stress, it’s impacting me nonetheless.
And now we are back to today. Oh, another little stress piece was my scan, but for now I have a scan next Thursday, Dec 17th and we’ll see how that goes. (Oh goodie, another week of scanxiety now. That may have also added to stress. 🤷🏼♂️) So much to be optimistic about with the scan, but yet so much to be determined by it.
So, don’t get me wrong, this has not been my favorite week at all, but the post really wasn’t about being negative, as I don’t feel that way. I believe! I know I’ll get through this regardless of the journey I must take. I am strong! I know I can take anything thrown at me… bring it! I am Ready! Hope and grit not rattled by this one bit, not for a second. And I will win!
Sometimes it has to rain, so we can see growth in the future. I’m ready for any storm, and will be grateful when I am on the other side.
Thank you TEAMjeff