Health update: April 2024 scans clear

update for those that wonder from time to time. I just had my 6 month scan check up and all remains clear. So it is exciting news once again, and I get to advance past go and collect $200 once again. (The group has been playing Monopoly lately, please excuse the reference.)

From there though, I’m going to do a little journaling for the mental release and I’ll wait for my body to catch up (although the knot in my neck appears it is already feeling that stress all week, and then the release).

I’ve found life lately to be this mental battle. With a focus on my health and taking care of loved ones and the athletes I have the honor to work with, I’ve found I unfortunately find myself overthinking everything. The good side is it isn’t always negative. The sport of swimming and my experience in life has given me a belief in myself through resilience and hard work, that no one but myself can take away. In fact, any efforts from outside forces only strengthens my resolve, as I will tend to embrace a challenge, as what is there to lose? Very little in my life I would consider easy, but then I wouldn’t change my past for anything. Hopefully we learn and grow through life’s experiences and we become better for it, if the focus is on growth.

I try to talk a lot about controlling the controllables in swimming, especially as we head to bigger meets. Of course, by definition, they are the only things you can impact, but it also gives you action to take, as I have found the toughest thing is inaction in stressful times.

I understand all of it, as they are the main life lessons that can change your life forever, but I continue to attempt to really learn some of the lessons. Take for instance, the resilience I have in the toughest of situations that I would call a strength in so many situations, I also find as a negative when I beat myself up for not handling what I consider “little” stuff better in life. I judge myself too harshly, too often.

Ok, I think that is probably good for today. In the end I guess I wanted to share the great health news, as ell as a little advice/reminder for anyone who finds themselves in similar situations. For those driven individuals who expect so much of yourself that you will push until you are at the end of your rope but then keep pushing like you just started, please remember to take care of yourself the best you can, mentally and physically. For the coaches and swimmers on the 2024 Olympic journey, I hope you each get the most out of your journey (and not only by the results).

Month of Hope – Day 33

This brings us to the end of our month of hope and I just wanted to share a short message of gratitude for being on this journey with me.

Nine years ago today I started my first treatment and launched a mantra that helped get me through some tough journeys. I am so grateful for all of the moments throughout that time and I hope that I can give some of that back through my life.

Thank you all and it is my wish that you will never give up hope!

Month of Hope – The day before treatment started…

We are almost to the end of my journey through sharing a month of hope, and this quote by Thomas Edison hits me deep.

On one side there’s the grit or resilience that gets tested and trained in athletic type environments, and helps you push through normal challenges and fatigue levels in life. That is without a doubt one of the life lessons that I hope to teach through my coaching. Regardless of a result, learn from it, stand up and keep moving forward.

Hope though, is that last bit of strength you can muster up, in the middle of the worst time in your life. Hope is what gets you through Doctor visits 5-6-7 and hearing largely the same thing, in order to find what we believed to be best for me. It gives you the strength to look under every rock, even when you know most won’t be the right fit.

Life has the ability to make any one of us feel weak and want to give up, but my wish along this journey is that each of you will learn that, if you are willing to hold on tight to it, hope is stronger than anything life can throw at you.

Never give up Hope!

Month of Hope – Day 31: The Hope in the people putting the Patient first

As we near the end of my month of hope, I realized there is a piece that I think I touch on, but don’t really discuss as much as it probably deserves. I mean at least within my hope journey, and especially through that first month, 9 years ago now.

What signifies the end of the month, is the day I started treatment. And for those that weren’t along for that ride, I was starting on a trial for a brand new combination, of a type of treatment in itself that was just really starting to take off, in immunotherapy.

Of course there was no guarantee that it would work, but in that trial there was hope for me. As you might imagine, hope isn’t an on/off switch, and while I had been reminded to never give up hope earlier in my journey, this was something that sparked my hope and made it easier to do everything possible to help me get through this.

Through my journey now I have had the chance to share my story in many different medical and pharmaceutical settings. One of those has been Bristol Myers Squibb, the company that created those immunotherapy treatments. I have had the honor of working with everyone from C-Suite members, to their incredible Patient Team, to speaking to their entire company and while obviously not nearly all, getting to meet so many of their amazing employees, who clearly put the patient first in what they do.

To my second journey, when it required help from the Bristol Myers Squibb Foundation for me to get that same immunotherapy that worked the first time and my team thought would work well for me again (but insurance thought otherwise…).

I share all that I guess for a few intertwined reasons. First is to share how incredible thankful I am to those people whose life goal it is to end others suffering, or find ways to chronically treat, or just give people hope and more time to live their lives. Thank you to those who put patients first and offer hope through the process. I have had amazing nurses do the same through this process.

The hope that is offered by these individuals and teams, and knowing that such incredibly kind and brilliant people are working daily to find new ways to help, is something I know that not everyone will get to witness quite as clearly as I have, but I can promise you there is a huge big TEAM PATIENT fighting for us daily. And I share that here with the wish that it builds some hope for those needing it now or in the future.

Month of Hope – Day 30

“Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.” — Laini Taylo

Month of Hope – Day 29: Gratitude

There has been so much to be grateful for along this journey. I know I’ve shared some of my gratitude through this month of hope, whether it was friends, family, or TEAMjeff, I am so appreciative of everyone. It is also hard to draw lines on who to give a shout out to from there, so I hope you all know how grateful I am.

That said, thank you to those that were core in this journey.

My sister Jaimi, was at our home and living on the couch within days of my initial diagnosis and in addition to her love and support, was my advocate for all things insurance and medical related.

Bonnie Addario has been there for me since the beginning, giving us the information we needed and helping stop our heads from spinning at least a bit. The Go2Foundation is a must for anyone needing to navigate lung cancer. They became family when we needed it so much.

Maureen Lennon has been there for me since early Rose Bowl days, and when she has your back, you can rest assured that things will get done.

Dr Greg Giesler was there for me at the start of both journeys. Helping get things started for diagnosis and ease the pain I was going through both times I initially had to go to the hospital.

Dr Jonathan Goldman, my oncologist, who specializes in lung, but was willing to help me with my gastric cancer to help speed that process up with insurance.

Doug and Leah McCrary, a swim family turned friends that were always there for us through the years and especially those early days of finding ways to help.

Thank you all so much for everything. I don’t know that I have the words to voice it, but I am very grateful for everything you did for me and my family. You helped make hope that much easier to hold on to, and you will forever be appreciated for those efforts.

Month of Hope – Day 28: Hope Mindset

As a coach, and a student of leadership, I find this piece interesting. In general, we prefer when things are simple. Just have a “positive mindset” is one of those simplified ideas. Instead I see the complications in things as opportunities to find the individual needs. In coaching it involves working the entire process and understanding while there are multiple ways to do things, there are also certain checkpoints that need to be met in order to find success.

Obviously my mantra has everything to do with mindset, but I find the two pieces that I haven’t discussed yet to be more specifically aimed towards my mindset. “I Believe…” was clearly there to ensure I maintained a belief in myself to achieve amazing things. Once again the thought would end in any number of different ways, but the theme stayed the same, I believed in my willingness to work to achieve the small percentages. “I will Win!” was again a mindset focus. It was a reminder to me that I was being challenged, and I respond best when challenged. Even more when the definition of Winning was fighting for every day that I could get. If you remember, that was one of our initial goals in this journey, to fight for every day I could be here, and I could win by standing each day and finding what we could do.

I don’t share that to say everyone should have the same mindsets. Each individual needs to find what helps them most, but remember that it needs to help you stand up when you are most challenged to do so.

A hope mindset, to me, has certain levels of resilience (in order to stand up, once again, in what seems total darkness), belief (in your ability to work for what you want), and optimism (in knowing the light will come). Those are core pieces of what hope instills when you lean on it during your hardest times. All with the understanding that sometimes you just need to allow yourself to rest in the process.

The mind is a powerful tool and when it is needed most, your Hope can lead you to the mindset that can help you through. Never give up hope.

Month of Hope – Day 27

Month of Hope – Day 26: Power of Hope

A poem I found that really speaks to the power of hope and the author clearly understands hope.

“Embracing the sunrise of a new day, each ray whispering a powerful message – the power of hope. It’s not just a feeling, it’s an inner strength that fuels our dreams. It’s the light that shines in our darkest hours, guiding us towards a brighter tomorrow. Hope is the whisper in the wind, the promise of possibilities. It’s the courage to persevere when the world says otherwise. It’s the silent prayer that echoes in our hearts, the magic that turns our ‘one day’ into ‘today’. Never underestimate the power of hope, for it is the bridge between ‘it seems impossible’ and ‘I did it’.”

⁃ Olowoyo Titilayo E

Month of Hope – Day 25: I am Strong…

“I am Strong…” was another piece to my mantra 9 years ago and yet another piece that has come to take on different meanings as I have gone through my journey. Probably more accurate to say a deeper meaning to me as I have gone through the different ups and downs.

The day I arrived home from my nearly 2 week stay in Oct 2020. Daisy was there to help give me strength.

Of course there is physical strength, but that is such a small part of being strong and really not even needed in order to show true strength. Then there’s a grit type strength that allows one to push through those times we are challenged. And then there’s a hope strength. A type of strength that is needed when we realize that strength is not about never getting knocked down, but the strongest you will ever be is when you get back up when you didn’t think you could.

For those ever needing it, it is my wish you can lean on hope to find the strength in you needed to get through whatever challenge you are facing. You are strong! 💪🏼